To Go Troubles

I'm back y'all!! I left my boring cow town to go to LA for a little while but now I'm back. I was excited to see my 2 pageviews while I was away. That's amazing! (Yeah, I'm pretty pathetic.) Today I would like to discuss a To Go's a little bit.

I would like to preface this discussion by saying that I absolutely HATE ToGo's. I work at a smallish restaurant and we have a couple of ToGo orders a night and they are taken by either the bartender or the host. As soon as I get done saying, "Hello, [insert restaurant name here][insert street name here] this is 'From The Sidestand,' How may I help you?" And I hear that it's a To Go I melt a little bit inside.
A lot of people don't realize that their phones suck because they're calling from a basement or something because I can never understand them. And then of course NOBODY establishes what they want to get before they call in so I'm forced to listen to stupid conversations where I'm not sure who you're talking to. And I'm just writing this stuff down and I will later go ring it up, but a lot of the time I have to put the phone down and go back because you wanted to know the price, while I understand why you would want to know, it's pretty annoying for me.
Let's not forget that I'm doing all of this while I have people angrily waiting in line while I'm chatting on the phone with you.
When your food is up I neatly place it in the box and put in the extra ranch you requested, I also give you some plastic utensils, salt and pepper. I mark the boxes so you know which well done burger is which.
When you arrive 10 minutes after I said you should, I'm normally in the middle of doing something but I make time for you because I'm just that prompt. I hand you the receipt and you hand me a credit card. (Good thing I ran back to see how much it was if you're just going to give me a card.) I then give you the receipt to sign and when you put that dash through the tip line I instantly start to cry.
Your annoying ass was in the back of my mind for a good half hour and you didn't tip me. I even wrote "enjoy :-)" on your fucking boxes because I'm so fucking awesome.
Even if you don't think I did enough to warrant a tip, I still NEED one.
You see, your To Go becomes a part of my sales and the United States Government automatically assumes that anyone in a restaurant who has sales must be getting a tip. They assume that I'm getting 10% and tax me as if I got a 10% tip whether you gave it to me or not.
That means if you had a $50 order and didn't tip, the government thinks I made 5 more dollars than I actually did, that shit adds up too. It's basically like saying, if you are claiming you made 1,000 more dollars then you'd have to pay higher taxes, higher taxes equals less money in my pocket.
Bottom line-Tip AT LEAST 10% on ToGo's

Stupid Parent

So yeah, it's pretty much impossible to have a blog dealing with a restaurant and not mention something about how annoying children are. Let me make this clear; I don't dislike the kids, it's the PARENTS that I really have a problem with, you really can't help how you're being raised. Parents will let their kids make a mess out of a restaurant and then leave a minimal tip. What may be worse than that is when parents allow their children to run around the restaurant by themselves. Kids are short, when I'm carrying a huge tray, I will have a hard time seeing them, while I've never run over a kid, I could see it easily happening. Anyway, I really wanted to talk about the experience I had with a child today.
I was working the breakfast shift this morning, I got my ass to work at 5:30 and opened at 6:05 (don't tell my boss.) I close that shit down right at 9:30. I had this bitch walk in at 9:45 dragging her bratty ass children down demanding breakfast. Since I was lazy and didn't but anything away yet, and because I'm such a wonderful individual, I let them in. Now she was dragging this kid who had to be at least 5 or 6 who was SCREAMING. And I don't mean just a little whining I mean, I went to the cooler in the back and still heard that monster. It was crazy, I just wanted to crawl up in a corner and sleep. I was completely done with that bitch after she complained that we didn't have any bacon. First of all we had sausage instead of bacon that day, we only have one or the other because it's a free fucking breakfast. Second of all, she showed up 15 minutes after it closed so she shouldn't be expecting anything. We also ran out of cranberry juice so I graciously got her some more because I'm so freaking nice, (and the bar would need it for drinks and such anyway.) But who the fuck drinks cranberry juice, especially when you're not 101 years old? The best part about this bitch was that she named her kid Thomas, not as in the Tank Engine but TOEmas as in, the kind of name you would expect of a fashion designer. Who would to that to a child?
Yup, that's just one of the many parents who feel entitled because they feel as though they were the first woman on the planet to ever push a baby through their vagina. (I suspect this demon child was birthed through a cesarean because that's what pretentious mothers do right?)