Go Ahead, Seat Yourself

What is with people who can't comprehend what a host does. From my last post about taking orders you would think people would have gotten the picture (because everybody in the world reads this blog.) I am standing up front to do one job, and one job only, take you and your lovely party to their seat (that is not my only job at all, I will have to explain that in a later post.)
I don't understand how people can walk into a restaurant, not have the ability to read the sign that says "Please Wait to Be Seated," not realize what the attractive guy standing behind the sign is there for, and sit wherever the fuck they want.

Just so you understand how annoying it is I'll tell you. At restaurants we have this thing called a rotation, this ensures each server has enough tables, but they don't get an overwhelming amount. I work very hard to make sure the rotation is right, when you go sit wherever you want you totally break the rotation and that server hates me when I tell them they just got double sat. Most of the time at my place (since we aren't corporate, and we don't have retarded managers) we just let you sit there without a menu and without a server, it's fun to watch you look like a dumbass and then say "do I even have a waitress."
I then say, "Oh I'm so sorry sir, I just thought that since you didn't wait to be seated you were going to the bar or joining a party"
I also have people who will watch me seat somebody and then go seat themselves, like what the fuck?
These people then say something like "Oh we just sat wherever, HAHA" No, stupid bitch, you just sat yourself into hell.

I Can't Take Your Order

At this point in time, I would like to let everybody in the world know that the host is not the person who takes your order. I don't know why people think that I stand up at the front but I also have tables that I'm taking care of. It's just dumb.
This is normally what happens:
*Door Opens*
ME: Hello, how are you do-
YOU: Three *Holds fingers up*
(where have we seen this before?)
ME: (demeanor immediately becomes slightly less pleasant) Alright it will be right this way *Brings you to table* Alright so will-
YOU: Can we get a booth
ME: Sir, there are currently no booths available if you'd like I ca-
YOU: I guess this will be fine, I'll have a Bud Light...


So yeah, I now have to get everybody's drink order at the table then I have to stop the server before they get to your table so you don't look at them like they're a complete idiot. I then have to get your drinks while I probably have people waiting at the front. I have to tell the server what you got so they can ring it in and I bring out your non-alcoholic drinks. You then look at me like I'm a dumbass and forgot your booze before I have a chance to tell you it's coming from the bar and YOUR SERVER will bring it out to you (even if it was ready, I can't legally bring it out to you because I'm underage)
A lot of the time, the server is the only person who can ring in your stuff because a host doesn't have a screen to order stuff or transfer tabs. Please don't order something from the person who seats you unless they prompt you.
What also goes along with that is, I don't take your payment. I don't know why a lot of people thrust their cards at me while I'm walking people to a table or why they come up to the host stand two seconds after they put their card in their book and ask if they pay me.
Do you see a fucking register up here? No. Do you see a credit card swipe up here? No. Again, a host doesn't have some magic power to tap into a server's open tables and make a payment, most of the time, only a manager can do that, sometimes the bartender. 
Morale of the story, order from your server, pay your server, follow the host, and be a better customer.